9. Taking action

Working on the issues that arise when caregiving, will make you feel better able to cope.

It may help to

  • Deal with one problem at a time
  • Trying to deal with problems as they arise so that they don’t get worse
  • Prioritising what has to be dealt with now and what can wait

Sometimes situations are outside our control, and we may have to accept we can’t change them.

But stress can twist our thoughts so that we can’t think straight, and that makes it more difficult to do something positive to deal with problems

 These questions might help you clarify

·         What’s been helping me to cope so far?

·         Is there another way to think about things? 

For example In Later Stage, many Carers may feel a sense of guilt or failure if they seek, and get, formal care for their family member. This can cause stress. For some carers, having professional staff in their home may make the Carer feel very alone and redundant. Or they may show heightened vigilance over their loved one's care (Grande and Keady 2011).

This can be looked at in a different way. This change may provide more time for the carer to spend reconnecting with his or her own life. And it may provide time to re-establish a relationship with the person with dementia without the pressures of physical care giving. There may be time to sit and have a cuppa, time to look at photos or to listen to music or dance.

·         Who can I ask for help? Who will support me?